July 4

July 4, 2012

First row (left to right): Kenny Powers, Michael Jordan, Dale Earnhardt Sr., Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Captain Kirk (an Iowan in character), Kate Upton, Indiana Jones, Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter, Rep. Paul Ryan, Bryce Harper.

Second row: …An eagle, Batman, President George W. Bush, Justices Alito, Kennedy, Scalia, and Thomas, Phil Hartmann as Bill Clinton in this sketch, Cal Ripken Jr., Sarah Palin, John McClane, Jack Donaghy, Gordon Gekko, Medal of Honor recipient Sal Giunta.

Back row: Gen. Patton, Jimi Hendrix, Joe DiMaggio, Johnny Cash, President Ronald Reagan. (And then an F-14 and an F-18.)

If you click the image, a giant version of this–the July 4 graphic for the Free Beacon–will pop up. Because I had to stare at this for like eight years, I can’t stop posting it. There’s like 30 more things we had on the list to put in this thing, but time and space did not permit. If I never cut anything out in Photoshop again, I won’t weep.

Also: I’m a little skittish about using anything from Lucas Film, lest a band of Stormtroopers appear in my closet like the police in The Trial, but think of the black-and-white band of brothers up top like the ghosts at the end of Return of the Jedi.

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